Who am I ? part II
I did what most people did, spend my time with friends and girls. I was more alive then I had never been before , and there was not a care or single misfortune in my life. I was happy and life was wonderful.
Until the day came when I was 16. It was summer and I couldn’t sleep at night, it was to warm and I could only sleep in the morning. I felt changed , I was very confused and I couldn’t think clear and deep , I made bad choices, and I couldn’t understand my feelings, I never thought issues through. I had nothing , I failed with everything and didn’t care, life fucked up as I blamed others for my actions. I lost most of my friends and I was stuck in this cycle that just made the same mistakes over and over again, and I couldn’t change myself, even if I wanted to be free from this prison and go back to my previous life. I longed to be released from the suffering of living.
I quit school and spend most of my time drinking , do shit and gamble now . I wanted to loose it all, my asset, my sanity, still I couldn’t end my life how much I even tried to push myself to do it, something inside of me kept me alive, waiting for the moment ,growing, I could feel it and how I suffered.
The moment came at last, it wasn’t as I expected. I woke up , tired of the world and my life, slowly I began to live again, I began to exercise and make my self a decent living .But it wasn’t the life a I thought it would become.
I kept mostly for myself and changed, I begin to think about everything , the life , the love and all the things that existed. I could find some answers for my questions, they were inside of me, and for a time I felt a sort of peace. I began to loose my feelings and I didn’t care, as the time went on I became more and more emotionless. I moved to my own place , living day after day , waiting and searching for the answer.
The end
Until the day came when I was 16. It was summer and I couldn’t sleep at night, it was to warm and I could only sleep in the morning. I felt changed , I was very confused and I couldn’t think clear and deep , I made bad choices, and I couldn’t understand my feelings, I never thought issues through. I had nothing , I failed with everything and didn’t care, life fucked up as I blamed others for my actions. I lost most of my friends and I was stuck in this cycle that just made the same mistakes over and over again, and I couldn’t change myself, even if I wanted to be free from this prison and go back to my previous life. I longed to be released from the suffering of living.
I quit school and spend most of my time drinking , do shit and gamble now . I wanted to loose it all, my asset, my sanity, still I couldn’t end my life how much I even tried to push myself to do it, something inside of me kept me alive, waiting for the moment ,growing, I could feel it and how I suffered.
The moment came at last, it wasn’t as I expected. I woke up , tired of the world and my life, slowly I began to live again, I began to exercise and make my self a decent living .But it wasn’t the life a I thought it would become.
I kept mostly for myself and changed, I begin to think about everything , the life , the love and all the things that existed. I could find some answers for my questions, they were inside of me, and for a time I felt a sort of peace. I began to loose my feelings and I didn’t care, as the time went on I became more and more emotionless. I moved to my own place , living day after day , waiting and searching for the answer.
The end
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