my last walk
I will continue the second part of the Winter in the Northlands story later.
It happened yesterday . I had just left my home for a walk , I started my Ipod and played a song from old times. Shortly after ,my life passed by in my head, every emotions I ever felt passed through my body, the pictures of all people that have ever matter or that I have ever care about for came up like pictures in my sight, my body steamed and my blood boiled . The feelings I thought had been lost forever .
I wanted to destroy and scream out load, even if the world felt different, it was the same but more beautiful and calm .I wanted to scream and jump around and wave my hands like a lunatic . I wanted to kick in the snow and tear down and destroy the things that passed my way , small trees ,bushes , snow cubes....and it felt good.
I wanted to destroy everything in my path, I wanted to break down the biggest trees. There was no limits for me and I wanted to climb, climb up higher then the trees. I wanted to kill , kill those who I had loved and care about in the past, rip there heads off , bit off there heads. I wanted to feel there warm blood.
Time didn’t exist, I felt I could live forever and I wanted this to last forever. A release from everything. A new life. I felt more alive then I have ever been before, the world was not boring , it was beautiful and I wanted to destroy it and kill . I felt I could walk for all eternity with the energy inside of me. Nothing in this world have ever give me such fascinating. I didn’t want it to end, I never wanted to go home , I wanted to go out in the world to destroy and kill . I loved the night more then ever, a joy spread through my body ,a satisfaction for everything I destroyed, it felt greater for every thing I brought down.
There was no a pain in my body, it was like all small annoying pain I usually have in my limbs and muscles were gone, every cell in my body felt alive .
I felt ten times stronger then before and as I walked I could see a pair of eyes in my sight like an illusion that cut the light of the world out and made it dark.
I could only see the eyes and they were dark and beautiful. I felt attractive to them, it was calling for me and I got paralysed and wanted to be with them .
I could now see the rest of the face, it was a young beautiful boy, he looked on me with his pale face and dark red hair. I wanted to have him close and feel his warm body, I wanted to be with him. Kiss his white face, huge him and see into his big magical eyes . I watched him and I couldn’t take my mind and sight of him , he was so beautiful and wanted to be with him even more.
He looked on me, smiling with his small mouth and without saying anything I knew he was looking for me and had found me.
He was gone and I felt all I had was fading away. I said no come back in my head. It fade away, as the same speed as it came it was gone, I didn’t want it to end, I wanted it back and him back. no sadness you get from anything can be compared to this sadness of this fading away and him gone.
This was different. This was real , I felt a tears in my eyes, I wanted to cry . I walked for a few hours, playing the same old song over and over . I felt tired when I came home, more empty then ever. I felt I could never take drugs or drinks alcohol anymore, there was no use for it , I felt the same thing about sex. I didn’t want to have anything of it, I wanted to have what I felt this night back and I wanted to be with the young boy forever, whatever it may take. I wanted to throw my self to the ground, in the snow and freeze to death and hope it would come back for me and save me.
It happened yesterday . I had just left my home for a walk , I started my Ipod and played a song from old times. Shortly after ,my life passed by in my head, every emotions I ever felt passed through my body, the pictures of all people that have ever matter or that I have ever care about for came up like pictures in my sight, my body steamed and my blood boiled . The feelings I thought had been lost forever .
I wanted to destroy and scream out load, even if the world felt different, it was the same but more beautiful and calm .I wanted to scream and jump around and wave my hands like a lunatic . I wanted to kick in the snow and tear down and destroy the things that passed my way , small trees ,bushes , snow cubes....and it felt good.
I wanted to destroy everything in my path, I wanted to break down the biggest trees. There was no limits for me and I wanted to climb, climb up higher then the trees. I wanted to kill , kill those who I had loved and care about in the past, rip there heads off , bit off there heads. I wanted to feel there warm blood.
Time didn’t exist, I felt I could live forever and I wanted this to last forever. A release from everything. A new life. I felt more alive then I have ever been before, the world was not boring , it was beautiful and I wanted to destroy it and kill . I felt I could walk for all eternity with the energy inside of me. Nothing in this world have ever give me such fascinating. I didn’t want it to end, I never wanted to go home , I wanted to go out in the world to destroy and kill . I loved the night more then ever, a joy spread through my body ,a satisfaction for everything I destroyed, it felt greater for every thing I brought down.
There was no a pain in my body, it was like all small annoying pain I usually have in my limbs and muscles were gone, every cell in my body felt alive .
I felt ten times stronger then before and as I walked I could see a pair of eyes in my sight like an illusion that cut the light of the world out and made it dark.
I could only see the eyes and they were dark and beautiful. I felt attractive to them, it was calling for me and I got paralysed and wanted to be with them .
I could now see the rest of the face, it was a young beautiful boy, he looked on me with his pale face and dark red hair. I wanted to have him close and feel his warm body, I wanted to be with him. Kiss his white face, huge him and see into his big magical eyes . I watched him and I couldn’t take my mind and sight of him , he was so beautiful and wanted to be with him even more.
He looked on me, smiling with his small mouth and without saying anything I knew he was looking for me and had found me.
He was gone and I felt all I had was fading away. I said no come back in my head. It fade away, as the same speed as it came it was gone, I didn’t want it to end, I wanted it back and him back. no sadness you get from anything can be compared to this sadness of this fading away and him gone.
This was different. This was real , I felt a tears in my eyes, I wanted to cry . I walked for a few hours, playing the same old song over and over . I felt tired when I came home, more empty then ever. I felt I could never take drugs or drinks alcohol anymore, there was no use for it , I felt the same thing about sex. I didn’t want to have anything of it, I wanted to have what I felt this night back and I wanted to be with the young boy forever, whatever it may take. I wanted to throw my self to the ground, in the snow and freeze to death and hope it would come back for me and save me.
Kommentarer
Postat av: 1rish1
So you are upset because you didn't get to fuck the imaginary boy? You can't even get laid in your own dreams, faggot.
Postat av: Plantshit
I want to be with him not fuck him, and I don't think he's imaginary. I understand you, I mean you cant hang out with guys without thinking of having sex with them, do you have some sexual abuse issues? You just write about male sex, I think you´re are confused about your sexual orientation 1rish1. And of course I will not help you karate kid.
Postat av: 1rish1
"I wanted to have him close and feel his warm body, I wanted to be with him. Kiss his white face" Your words you, flaming faggot. You can try to redirect your homosexuality all you want, you're a fag and you know it.
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